You’re about to read Chapter 19. Want to start this story from the beginning? Go here.
Lesson 19 is about self-ownership.
“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
That promise-slash-warning about revealing your true self is attributed to Jesus (via the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas), and it pretty much sums up the essence of this lesson.
Which is fortunate, because I don’t have the energy or time to say much else.
I definitely did my share of underlining as I read, and I also did the homework, which included another art project.
Lesson 19 in practice
The homework was to draw a figure of yourself on a large sheet of paper and then to fill in the figure with a list of given characteristics like “power” “greatness” “ugliness” and “beauty.”
I rolled with it and came out with a piece of art that I am definitely only sharing here because no one is reading this.
[Draw a simple picture or representation of yourself in the center of a large piece of paper. It need not actually look like you. Allow yourself to be as a child, drawing more for fun than the need to do it “right.” One by one add the following qualities: My power My beauty My talent My greatness My ugliness My passion My light My sexuality My anger My love]
in fact it was nice to so easily acknowledge what I was proud to express and what I no longer wanted to hide.
Lesson 19 in actual practice
The reason I have little energy to write is that I spent most of today getting counsel from wise women.
first from my therapist and then from a former colleague turned friend and then I hung out with a whole group of inspiring ladies and went out to a long dinner with two of them.
the topic of paul came up in all these conversations and I have a good deal to consider as a result.
(in sum: I have really fucking amazing women in my life who all care about me a lot and believe I deserve the best.)
also as a result it’s nearly midnight, my self-imposed deadline for these posts, and I’m on the subway but won’t likely get home before twelve, so I’m typing on my phone and about to press publish on principle.
probably by the time you read this I’ll have gone back and cleaned it up, but also maybe not.
because part of claiming my whole self means embracing the imperfect, and this post is certainly that.
(But I probably will at least go in and format the subheadings. No point in needlessly impeding readability.)
Love > fear,
Christina
Want to know what happens next? Proceed to Chapter 20.
Missed what happened before? Go back to Chapter 18, or start from the beginning.
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